Family!

Mom was in SLC this weekend at Kevin's, so after ODP, I stayed at Kevin's overnight to spend time with the family. Mom and I went shopping for some new jeans for me (and I'm looking into getting a fancy camera for picture taking!) and then we had dinner at a restaurant called Biaggi's at the Gateway! It was really fun to spend some time with her. When we got back, Kevin and Heather were waiting up for us, so we all just chatted for a bit then went to bed. This morning at 7:30am (it never fails!) the girls came and woke us up because it was time to play. I told them to go wake up Nana and I rolled over and went back to sleep! I WAS TIRED! Sheesh! I played with the later though so mom could rest before heading back to Cali. The girls are growing up so fast, I'm glad I live close enough to see them a little more than usual because after this year, who knows how much I'll get to see my family each year. It will be interesting.

YAY!!!!!

Things are looking up!!!!! Here's what's turned around in the last two days!!!!!

-My two recruiting trips/coaching course/coaching convention were approved...I leave on December 26th (after spending Christmas with my family in So.Cal) and Orlando to recruit at two tournaments....I'm really excited to see teams from all over the country play...I will spend New Years Eve in a hotel room in Orlando...kinda excited about that. I would try to hit Disneyworld, but not sure I will have the energy after spending all day on a soccer field with two full days left on a soccer field after that. I am there for work, not play...then I drive to Ft. Lauderdale for a coaching course through the NSCAA called the Advanced National Diploma. I am SO EXCITED about this course...but I need to get in shape between now and then because I will literally be playing for for 7 days straight in 2-3 sessions per day! I will be training with a boys U13 team locally and trying to hit some indoor games in Ogden when I can. After the Adv. National, I will fly to Baltimore, Maryland. There is a coaching convention there through the NSCAA, but I am flying in three nights early...so, I am taking an airport shuttle down to Washington D.C. to stay with my friend, Beth Bauer, who lives just a few blocks from the U.S. Capitol building, and I will spend two and a half days there with her! Beth and I played club soccer for three years when we were in high school! I haven't seen her since my senior year! Then I will take a train for $7 to Baltimore and attend the coaching convention and return to SLC on January 16th...I will be gone for a month!!!!

Going Wrong...a little venting session

You know how sometimes everything seems to go wrong? Yep...last two days, everything has gone wrong (well, except dating because...well...I'm not dating, and church....things are all good there). School, soccer (pretty much the only two things I do)....everything with that has gone wrong. NCAA jobs are posting...but USU may not have the money to help me go to a coaching licensing course I need as well as to a coaching convention that will help me network a little to give me better chances of competing in this college soccer circuit...so somehow I have to come up with the money myself. Well, the guy who broke into my car owes me money..nope, not paying it til he gets out of prison (possibly in 5 years) and I was told by the case worker that I will probably never see that money. So that leaves club soccer...a possibility there of earning some money...nope, USU's spring schedule makes it so coaching club most likely will not happen, and finding a part time job is out because we could practice anywhere from 4pm-8;30pm depending on the weather...I have no opportunity to earn money at all. And the study abroad course in South Africa? That's out if I can't earn money. And I may not even be able to go to the coaching convention because the class I am taking that has been offered on Mondays is now on Thursdays and last year when I was planning on taking the course, the professor told me he wouldn't work with me and my USU soccer schedule so I needed to take it another time, then he went on sabbatical for a year...so no convention, no recruiting, and I may be in trouble because my mom and I leave for Africa on a Tuesday....but my class ends on a Thursday...and why didn't I take this class last semester when it was offered on Mondays...well, I decided to coach a club team as a favor to a friend....yeah, that team was pure hell and the parents were pissed that I wasn't around all the time because I was coaching college soccer...so I altered my life for a bunch of ungrateful people...awesome, I could've been out of here anytime in the spring if I had chosen NOT to coach club, it was a mistake but there's nothing I can do about it now. Then I was told something about finding a job at the college level that may make it even more difficult to find a job...basically, if things pan out the way they might, my chances of finding a job coaching at the college level are very, very slim...which means I will have to teach, which I don't want to do, but I may not have a choice in the matter. Oh, and using my evenings to possibly go to mid-singles activities and try AGAIN to make friends here...not going to happen with the USU spring schedule. I was really frustrated yesterday, and things didn't stop til I went to bed last night. Luckily, I talked to three friends (two over the phone) and one had me over for dinner. We just "shot the breeze," didn't really talk about my problems or their problems, just talked. It was truly a blessing and just what I needed. I feel stronger this morning...I can do this, I just have to have faith that Heavenly Father has a plan...what that plan is right now, I'm not quite sure...it will be an interesting ride to find out that answer. Tyler and Kevin both called me last night to see how I was doing. I appreciate it when they do that...good to have brothers who care. :)

Thoughts...ENDINGS, FRIENDS, BEAUTY!!

I woke up this morning with several thoughts on my mind....first of all...CAR THEFT UPDATE! The guy arrested pleaded guilty on two accounts of car burglary...he has been sentenced 180 days-5 years in prison and he owes me some restitution money...I was shocked last night when I got home at 1am and saw that letter in the mail to me. I appreciate the money, but I really just want my stuff back!!! :( Last night was also my last RSL game. I didn't renew my season tickets because I have no idea where I'll be next year...lots of things ending this weekend....its been rough....below are some pics from the last two years of enjoying this team in a great stadium!!!

Pics from my last RSL game :(





Pics from the last two years...









Other thoughts...I kinda got a slap in the face last night from a friend that I've been trying to help or have been helping with different things in his life....I always tell him I have girls to set him up with, but he tells me he has no friends to help me out in that department. He keeps complaining that he has no friends in Logan (that's great, because I think I'm his friend and I live in Logan), and how he has no one to hang out with there (again, I'm in Logan...and I've made efforts to hang out, etc). We talk a lot about soccer, being LDS and single at our age, church, etc...and its been cool just to talk to someone who "gets" it because in the Church, I feel like its such a hard position at times and I know that coaching soccer (and the schedule that comes with it) isn't making things easier for me, and people don't always understand why I can't just quit soccer, make friends or find a guy and get married...its not always that easy and when I wasn't coaching soccer awhile back, my situation didn't change. But I was also hoping that through befriending my friend, I would just find a good friend to hang out with here. So last night he told me about how he exchanged numbers with a really cute girl (who is much younger than he is-which isn't a surprise because he is naturally attracted to younger girls-- but it's exciting for him because its a new prospect and its new and that's always really fun, right?), and then he said, "at a minimum, she will be really fun to hang out with." That's great, so here I am, taking the time to be his friend, help him out, etc...hoping to just find a good friend up here in return....and apparently, I'm not young enough, fun enough, or cute enough for him to hang out with. Hmmm...I'd say this probably isn't an ideal friend situation and its time to move on...maybe that's selfish, but for anyone who knows me well remembers the experience I had in SLC with someone who was very similar, I gave a lot and he took a lot, never was a mutual friendship...I got burned pretty good in the end...learned my lesson the hard way...once bitten, twice shy, ya know?

My house...I moved to Hyrum in July..it's beautiful here. Everyday I feel so blessed to live with such beauty right before my eyes...its just amazing. See pics below...

Its Been a Good Run...

USU Season is officially over....its hard to believe that this most likely is my last season here and next year, who knows where I'll be! We ended up in the season finishing 9-7-5 and sharing the WAC title. Last Sunday, we were going into our game 4th place in the standings. In order for us to finish 2nd, we had to win and Idaho had to lose. In order for us to finish in first, we had to win, Idaho had to lose, and San Jose needed to either tie or beat Boise (the winner of the San Jose/Boise game would win the WAC). If Boise had beat San Jose, with us winning and Idaho losing, we would've finished 2nd. Boise ended up dropping to 5th! That's how close the standings were. Heather, Sara and I went to Texas Roadhouse after our game vs. Hawaii and we watched the score tracker of the San Jose/Boise game on my phone knowing what the possibilities were based on our win and now on the score of that game! It's still crazy to think that we won the WAC...if you had asked me two years ago if I would ever coach college soccer and coach a college team who won their conference, I would've laughed! After calling and texting my family and close friends, Sara and I went to campus to take pictures with the Blue A...whenever an athletic team at USU wins a game, the A on Old Main (the oldest building on campus) is lighted blue. On Wednesday morning, the team left at 6:30am on a chartered plane (previously flown by the L.A. Galaxy just a few days before) and flew to Monroe, Louisiana via Lamar, Colorado. I got to take my picture in the cockpit of the plane!!!! The WAC tournament was in Ruston, LA...and USU got to bring home the WAC 1st place trophy (San Jose will have their's mailed to them once it is made), so on the way home, we buckled that sucker into a seat on the plane! Despite not making it to conference finals (which was really disappointing), it was a fun trip home. Another highlight of the trip was my mom came out for it with her cousins, Martha and Gilbert McCown. It was fun to see them and have family there...and of course my mom took lots of pictures!














Here's a random pic from Halloween. Heather, Sara and I carved pumpkins on Saturday night, then watched Clash of the Titans. Motley, Heather's dog was lying on my lap, and I was hugging her because it was a pretty intense movie (don't laugh...I really was scared!) and something jumped out and I screamed and poor Motley had no idea what was going on, and left me to cuddle with Sara. :( It was a fun night though! I great Halloween!

Crazy but Good

Life has been CRAZY!!!!!! But soccer is going great, I have started school, and because our new assistant had some family situations come up that took him out of state every other weekend for our first 6 weeks of season, I have gotten to experience what its like to be a 1st assistant as well as what its like to do ALL there is to do at this level with only two people! I've been fortunate to have family, friends and co-workers who have been extremely supportive during this very stressful yet enjoyable time! Loving life, don't have time to go into more detail, but things are good. :)

Learning and Blessed

Things have been so crazy the last 6 weeks. I ended up quitting my job at the store I was working at in Logan so I could help Heather out more in the office with USU soccer stuff so she wouldn't have to do the job of three people by herself. Our new assistant was hired, started in mid-July, but I only worked with him for a couple days before working the UofU high school camp, then went recruiting with Heather down in San Diego at Surf Cup. The day after we got back, preseason started. Three days into preseason, our assistant coach's wife, who was on her way to Utah, had complications with her pregnancy, had to have an emergency c-section at 7 months...in Denver. So their baby is in NICU til October, she was just released from the hospital on Friday. Our assistant was gone for a week, and I had no choice but to step up and play the role of both a first assistant and a graduate assistant. Heather and I worked 12-16 hour days because we were in double days. Our assistant will now be commuting to Denver every weekend...leaving Sunday afternoon and returning Tuesday, which means Heather and I will be splitting his responsibilities of travel and video during that time.

Through all this, I get a letter that someone has been arrested and charged with the break-in of my vehicle...I haven't even had time to fill out and turn in the insurance claim, and not sure if I still can! And I have to send back a form saying I want to be informed of what happens in the case...which I haven't had time to fill out and send back....I am doing that this morning since I have part of the morning off.

Its just been so busy and I am literally exhausted. I really struggled the last 6 weeks with my faith and my testimony. When my car was broken into and my wallet was stolen, my temple recommend was inside. Because I had moved three days before my wallet was stolen, I was between wards. I couldn't get a hold of my old bishop, and my new bishop couldn't really do anything til he got my records. For 6 weeks, I had no recommend, and I'll be honest, I felt a little empty..like something was missing. Even though I didn't really have time to go, the fact that I couldn't go was really hard for me...and then I was starting to question other things about the way I live my life, etc. I knew I was not right to have an attitude such as this, and I started looking for those "tender mercies" each day. Sometimes, they were as simple as our volleyball assistant coach helping me learn to straighten my hair before team pictures (I know, who ever would've thought I'd do something like that!), goalkeeper training went almost perfectly, my boss who can be under the highest amount of stress and still be positive about everything....then I finally was able to have the interview to renew my recommend. As I answered the questions, it helped me remember things..things I believe in, covenants I have made, why I live my life the way I do. I started praying more fervently, I stopped feeling like life was unfair to me when things weren't going right. In fact, I got to a point this week where I hit breakdown mode....between being exhausted and everything I was being asked to do for USU Soccer on top of my club team and trying to maintain some sort of personal balance, I honestly didn't think I could get the job done. Then my prayers were answered. One of our players who we almost died in March due to complications of shoulder surgery (she ended up with blood clots in her lungs) just couldn't recover physically to be strong enough to play this season. Because she is on scholarship, she must work off that scholarship, so we have brought her on as an undergraduate assistant coach....she will be helping me and Heather with whatever we need in the office with part-time office hours. I felt so blessed...it was an answer to prayer. I've also had several people who have checked in on me and allowed me to vent several times to them the last two weeks. That is a blessing.

There is an interconnectedness among members that bonds the family, much like mountain climbers who rope themselves together when climbing a mountain, so that if someone should slip or need support, he's held up by the others until he regains his footing.
-PHIL McGRAW, Family First

Gone

On Tuesday, my privacy was violated and I felt as though my life had been taken out from under me. I went straight to my indoor soccer game from class. When I got there, as usual, I placed my backpack on the floor of the car, grabbed my soccer game, and proceeded inside. Just after the 2nd half began, someone came and got me...my car had been broken into. THe front passenger window smashed in, my duffle bag with two changes of clothes, and my backpack were taken never to be seen again. Inside the backpack was my laptop (which I honestly don't know when the last time I was backed it up and I just loaded new pictures on to it on Saturday), my wallet, my jump drive with everything on it for work, school, personal, teaching, etc. My written practice plans for both field sessions and goalkeeper trainings sessions from the past year, my school notes and textbook from the class I came from and our final was Thursday (thankfully, I got an extension). What makes me so butter is that for a year I have worked my tail off to compile notes, put together journals, start working on personal history through programs that could not be backed up to an external hard drive...only to have it all taken away because of someone's greed and selfishness. I will never see that stuff again...and what will be done wtih it? When the theifs realized what they was in that bag, did they have a beer and give each other high fives at the stash they acquired, knowing that the cops could care less about a car being broken into because it happens all too often? There is no punishment, there is nothing I can do to get any of that back. I am extremely bitter. It just doesn't seem fair...what's the point of even working for all that, when it is lost so quickly? Where else am I to store it so it is safe? It just doesn't make sense how people think that it's o.k. to steal from others to satisfy their own desires...with no respect or consideration...and then there is no repercussion for their actions. I am just sick with disgust at the things that were lost that I can not replace or duplicate. My inner-most thoughts and feelings and memories all gone.